This tragic incident does not ring true for me from all accounts I have read. A terrific young man, well liked, a good chance to be the starting QB this fall, etc. He had to be a very troubled individual to take his own life. How could so many people not realize how troubled he was? A terrible tragedy for someone so young!
he was a lifelong friend and sports rival (in the Catholic school league) to my nephew Brendan. I went to high school with both his father and uncle. This one cuts deep and no one seems to know. All we can really do is move forward and remind people that depression doesn't have a face and that if you're ever in need of help, there's always someone who will be there for you.
Smiling on the outside does not always translate to smiling on the inside. Nobody really understands the demons and pains each of us are dealing with unless we choose to reach out, and not everyone is able to do that. In fact, those dealing with the darkest demons are probably those least capable of seeing that help is available. I cannot imagine what his family is going through, and will continue to deal with for the rest of their lives. Suicide of a young person is devastating on a monumental scale to those closest to them, partly because it is not the natural order of things, partly because of the lost promise, partly because of the discarded gift of life, partly because of the lack of answers to the question 'why'. The note may shed some light on the the final straw and allow some way of understanding, but it's going to be hell no matter what. Life is tragic, and this definitely qualifies.
Here is what I know... Hilinski's father was NOT popular in the Damien community. Think Lavar Ball or Marv Marinovich and you get the idea. A former star player at Damien, he raised his sons to be super QBs, then shopped them around to the highest bidder instead of sending them to his alma mater. Tyler played his early years at Notre Dame HS in Sherman Oaks, then finished locally at Upland HS. His dad selected Washington State as his college destination... As Corey has pointed out, my grandson Brendan was a life-long friend of this boy and liked him a lot. They were both hot local QBs who attended the same camps; knew the same people; and came from old Damien families. In their senior year, they played against each other in a game won by Upland, at Upland HS. Brendan always maintained that Tyler told him that he wanted to attend Damien HS too. This was a very nice boy. When he discovered that one of his classmates at Upland HS was Brendan's cousin (My granddaughter Briana.) He made a point to say hello to her and talk to her every day. This was a BIG deal for her. He was the star of the school and nationally famous as a football recuit. She was one of those girls that nobody noticed. She has never forgotten his kindness...
Tragic is about all I can say. What would cause a young person with their whole life ahead of them and being very successful at what they are doing to take their life. I don't understand. Prayers and thoughts to the family.
A possible answer: Look for a small to mid range task or project at which he has been unsuccessful. People that are highly successful in everything they do sometimes cannot take failure however small it may be. Not saying this is the answer in this case. Tragic as it is, there has to be a reason. A second answer might be the failures of others going up against his success. Maybe someone that was not given a chance because his star was being out shined and foul play was the issue rather than suicide. Either way, it was a senseless loss.
Tom makes a good point. A guy I graduated from HS with, Greg Bogacjik, was lifelong straight A student. At UCLA, he continued this until one semester, he got a B+. He went back to his dorm room, waited for everyone to leave, and then hung himself. It's literally the only thing in that kid's life that didn't go 'his way' and he had no idea how to handle it. He tried talking to his professor. Didn't work. He talked with classmates about not being able to handle it. No one listened, so I am sure he made up his mind and went back to the dorms. All that gift, thrown away.