Ralph you need to declare yourself a minority...quick.

Discussion in 'The Back Room' started by Terry O'Keefe, Apr 29, 2013.

  1. Terry O'Keefe

    Terry O'Keefe Well-Known Member Administrator

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    Or you'll miss out on this latest govt boondoggle.
    1.33 Billion Dollar Give Away to minority farmers
     
  2. Sid

    Sid Well-Known Member

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    Along those lines, I don't know if this is true, but it's funny......or sad, depending on your perspective:
     
  3. gipper

    gipper Well-Known Member

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    If true, my hats off to Mr. Rileyu. It's a classic. However I found this

    (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his Democrat Senator)
    The Honorable Tom Harkin
    731 Hart Senate Office Building
    Phone (202) 224 3254
    Washington D.C. 20510

    Dear Senator Harkin,

    As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, an illegal alien needs to have been in the United States for five years. If he then wishes to become a citizen he needs only to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before others figure out the advantages.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those annoying car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
    Donald Ruppert
    Burlington, IA
    http://www.civitasreview.com/immigration/urban-legends-about-illegal-immigration-part-i/
     
  4. Terry O'Keefe

    Terry O'Keefe Well-Known Member Administrator

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    I'd like to do it as well, but I'd have to lose my dental license...or practice out of my back bedroom. :)
     
  5. RECcane

    RECcane Well-Known Member

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    Dammit, once again thwarted from the free money floating around out there...

    50% Lithuanian since the 1920's
    50% (mixed)English since the 1740's

    equals not eligible....


    One of the saddest moments in my citrus career is when Florida citrus growers accepted money from the Federal government after hurricane Charley. The industry has never been the same since and now every growers group does nothing but chase Federal dollars and sell their souls in the hope of catching a few bucks...It is true that everyone can be bought but what is not said is the price it cost in the long run....
     
  6. JO'Co

    JO'Co Well-Known Member

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    8)

    I wanna send that letter too, but I would get drummed out of the teacher's union and we control this state. Maybe I'll wait until I collect my double-dip, lucrative pension and flee to Arizona with the other educators. I can send it from there...