Don't know how legit these are but they are damn funny. Subject: WHY PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS... 1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me." 2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first." 3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." 4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.." 5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." 6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful) 7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height.." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle." 8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ." 9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." 10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is." 11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January) 12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'" 13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject." 14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious. 15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."
Bum was/is a treasure trove of quotes!! : # (referring to Houston Oilers quarterback Warren Moon) "That boy could throw a football through a car wash and not get it wet." # (when asked about Earl Campbell's inability to finish a 1 mile run in training camp) "When it's first and a mile, I won't give it to him"
In 1984 the Yale Men's basketball team got clobbered by Vern Fleming and the Georgia Bulldogs, 105-65. In the waning minutes of the game the Georgia student body was chanting, "Where is your varsity?" Yale coach Tom Brennan commented afterward, "tell those students that any one of my players could graduate from Georgia in three days."
8) Woody Hayes wife was asked by a reporter if she ever considered divorce. She responded, "Murder yes; divorce no."
I think Tom could easily be converted to a Tech fan: http://www.godiggers.com/images/stories/football/montana_tech_football_gun_raffle1%204.pdf
:shock: I'm in awe... - Tough as a pine cone toilet seat... - Chinese arithmetic... - Football season is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you are to the end, the faster it goes... - You gotta stay busy; like a homely girl on a honeymoon... - I'm an old coach. I was coaching when the Dead Sea was only sick... Somewhere, up there...Casey Stengel is smiling.