Some of you, Sid, Mike, Stu, Corey, and Bobda (maybe even Scott and Les and Tom and Cindy) have met my nephew Brian (ND'90). This week he lost his wife Sue to Cancer. She fought the good fight, different regimens of chemo and a few months ago she was told there was nothing else they could do for her. She suffered a lot in her final months, the tumors in her abdomen pressed on her colon, they blocked one of her ureters and she ultimately had a drain of some type placed to allow the urine to flow. She was building fluid in her abdomen that had to be drained periodically and they eventually put in a drain. But the body finally gave up. We are all sad, but with our faith in god we do believe she is now in a better place and no longer in pain. Sue was a big sports fan, she loved her UCONN Huskies and she and Brian were big soccer fans. Both their daughters played soccer at a high club level and one has just graduated from NYU where she was a 4 year letterperson for the Violets the other is a freshman on the Marquette soccer squad. She was able to go to the NYU (Rachel) graduation and help the freshman (Erin) move into her dorm this past fall. She will be missed by many.
Terry, I'm so sorry. She was so young. As you know, I've been there. It's devastating, something no spouse, especially as young as Brian and Sue, should ever have to endure. I'm certain Brian did everything he possibly could to make her comfortable during her ordeal. Regardless of how super human his efforts were, he'll feel the inevitable guilt that he didn't do enough. It will take time and immense family support for him to be able to reconcile that he did all he could. Your family is exceptional in its closeness and faith. I know you will provide all the support you can, and your siblings, including his parents, will do the same. In his intense grief, he may not realize at this time how much he needs all of you, but someday, however long it takes, he'll understand that all of you were a lifeline to help him deal with his grief and to be a solid, loving parent and source of support to his two now-adult children. God rest Sue's soul. She will be in my ever-growing list of souls that I pray for, and Brian will be in my ever-growing list of surviving spouses that I pray for.
Terry, my condolences to your nephew, you and to all family members. I think Sid’s eloquence surpasses anything I could possibly write so I’ll simply adopt his observations about your nephew’s wife passing away far too soon.